In retrospect, the significance of emotional intelligence seems to be self-evident, as is the case with most concepts that endure. According to the findings of recent studies, improving one’s emotional intelligence may result in increased performance and compensation, as well as improved professional and personal relationships.
Your chances of being successful increase in proportion to the degree to which you are able to comprehend and control not just your own feelings but also those of the individuals in your immediate environment.
Which suggests that the majority of us believe that we possess at least some degree of emotional intelligence. (With the possible exception of myself; I once took an emotional intelligence test and discovered that I am something of a jerk.)
However, you may be shocked to hear that you have a higher emotional quotient than you give yourself credit for, particularly if any of the following are true about you.
1. You appreciate (even if you don’t enjoy) negative feedback.
No one enjoys being told they could improve. When individuals anticipate receiving unfavorable comments, they are less likely to actively seek feedback, according to studies.
Even when they are given the opportunity to enhance their work, they seldom take advantage of it. (In fact, bad comments usually slip our minds entirely after a few days.)
People who are emotionally intelligent are able to control their emotions and use the challenges they provide as opportunities for growth.
Feedback that challenges your present self-perception is not to be suppressed, but rather used to enhance your future self-perception.
Better in every conceivable way; more enlightened; more accomplished; more gifted; more open-minded; more of what you aim to become.
2. You often praise other people, especially those you’re not “supposed” to.
Do you ever feel like you’re underappreciated? There are other people in the world, scientific evidence shows. Over three-quarters of workers say they get praise less than once a week, and nearly two-thirds say they don’t get any praise at all.
That can’t be a pleasant experience at all.
People that are emotionally knowledgeable are aware that the best way to get what they need from others around them is to give to them. Remarks of warmth and appreciation. Please accept my heartfelt gratitude.
There are a lot of individuals in your life that might need some encouragement, whether they be colleagues, suppliers, clients, friends, family, etc. An honest expression of gratitude.
However, you are able to identify certain persons whom you have never met before. Someone who works at a shop. One who makes deliveries. Someone who works in customer service. Because unwarranted acclaim, like a surprise present given “just because,” may have a far greater impact.
3. You ask for advice, not feedback.
Now, here’s the deal. You might welcome the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. This, however, does not guarantee that others will readily provide the input you need. There is evidence to suggest that required input is less specific than voluntary comments. Way too flimsy.
I’ll be kind because I don’t want to upset you, but that’s not helpful.
However, when you want guidance? According to studies conducted by the Harvard Business School, people who were asked for advise were more likely to provide suggestions for improvement (by 34% and 56%, respectively) than those who were only asked for criticism.
Asking others, “How did I do?” puts them on the position, and individuals with high emotional intelligence are aware of this. It shows respect to ask, “What can (or should) I do?” Advice-seeking is an unspoken way of demonstrating admiration for another person’s expertise.
There are then two fantastic developments. For one, you’ll get useful feedback. Two, the other person knows they are helping you and is appreciated by you because of the advice they provide you.
Win-win.
4. You readily admit your mistakes.
Navy SEAL Dave Cooper is quoted in Daniel Coyle’s book The Culture Code as saying, “I messed it up.”
Maybe you’re thinking that’s out of the ordinary. It’s important for leaders to seem unflappable. If you admit you’re weak, you can end up much weaker.
Emotionally intelligent individuals, on the other hand, know that great cultures can only be developed when people feel comfortable enough to tell each other the truth, and that this safety can only be established when leaders acknowledge their own imperfections. There is a vulnerability cycle as a consequence. When one individual opens up and confesses guilt or weakness, it paves the way for others to do the same. Eventually, it leads to more frank conversations, which in turn fosters trust and boosts productivity.
And it helps in concentrating on how individuals may improve as a group.
5. You skip the small talk.
You’ve found yourself at a conference. New acquaintance! A little small conversation can’t hurt, right?
Nope. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology studies found that participants were more likely to form close relationships with others if their conversations with them sounded awkward and uncomfortable. A greater attraction developed between them.
After having such talks, participants reported feeling far less uncomfortable, more connected, and more happy than they had anticipated.
People with high emotional intelligence know that engaging in a more in-depth discussion, especially with a stranger, increases the likelihood that both parties will enjoy themselves.
The adage that “deep” means “too much” is not always true. The most common “deeper” questions that people came up with when researchers prompted them were rather simplistic.
What are some of your favorite activities?
“What do you feel is your biggest regret?”
“In five years, where do you see yourself?”
Scientists conclude that conversing about one’s interests and goals is more likely to make the person next to them happy than small talk about the weather or “What’s up?”
Yes, you would feel that way too.
